No cigarettes today or yesterday. Skipped dessert last night. Housed three almond croissants today. Yum. Went to yoga class. You win some, you lose some.

Here's a picture of a sandwich my best friend made after repeated comments that her purse looked like lunch meat. She put it together at a New Year's party then camped out next to it waiting for someone to try and eat it. Some drunk guy made her night.

I quit caffeine over a week ago. I had enormous headaches for three days. In my online perusing I found that magnesium can be helpful, up to 2400 milligrams a day. We happened to have some calcium magnesium laying around (my husband uses it for insomnia). I took one pill in the morning, one at lunch and one at dinner time. NO HEADACHE! It was amazing. It could also have been the day that the headaches were going to stop, but I had such a huge headache the day before that I was expecting at least a little one.

My diet has been shit. SUGAR, SUGAR, SUGAR! Dairy!! AND I've been smoking cigarettes! What the hell? Who am I? Is this 1999? In any event, I've been trying to be kind with myself. I've been doing lots of yoga, focusing on self-love and mending broken relationships. Overall, it's been a good week. I'm also still eating a ton of vegetables and outside of cookies, avoiding gluten. But last night in a panic, I decided two things must go: Sugar and Cigarettes. It's hard to say which is grosser or which makes me feel more shitty. Away they must go! I hate them both so much. I don't like being bossed around by them. I want to be free!!!!!!

After yesterday's heartburn scare, I was afraid to take any caffeine pills at all. I had one cup of green tea instead and brought some back up bags to work with me. My heartburn was still pretty ferocious this morning, but tolerable. I decided I would do the Junger cleanse but make an exception for the prevacid. I was feeling great until about 1pm when an insane caffeine deprivation headache set in. It felt like the worst hangover ever without the nausea. I got myself home and into bed. The thought of cold cucumber soup felt all wrong, so I decided to put the cleanse on indefinite hold and make some heartburn friendly comfort food.I have two things to settle before this cleanse: Caffeine and heartburn. Caffeine is huge and so is this heartburn. Once I get these two under control I'll be in great shape to start the cleanse. My new goal is to have all my addictions under control by my 29th birthday on March 26th. So,

*No caffeine
*No dairy
*>75% raw
*No sugar

I've done everything but the caffeine with success in the past. Now, I just need to piece it all together. I'll get there! I'm going to be nice to myself in the process instead of begrudging myself for not getting it all done in one shot.

New Year

Last year we decided that New Years would be held on January 4th. It didn't seem fitting to start resolutions in the middle of New Year's weekend. Starting fresh on Monday seemed like a wiser idea, and it was. I went 365 days without drinking any my husband did 365 without smoking. Well, we each had one slip-up each, but 364 days is nothing to smirk at. So this year I decided that New Years would start on January 4th again. Only, now I fear it will have to start on January 5th.... Let me explain. I wanted to kick of this year with the Junger Cleanse. The junger cleanse is 21 days of no dairy, gluten, sugar, nightshade vegetables, corn and anything bad. Also, no prescription drugs, caffeine or alcohol. I'm sticking with the no alchohol thing, so that's easy. However, caffeine is a big vice of mine and I'm ready to examine the world without it, at least for a little while. Also, caffeine adds to the terrible heartburn that I've been pretending is no big deal because I don't want to have to face up to the fact that caffeine has to go. I've read that this cleanse gives you a big energy burst, so I thought it would be a fitting way to kick my caffeine habit and help start the year off right, dairy and sugar free. I decided that this was going to be a year I focus on mental health just as much as physical health. Quitting caffeine will improve my mental health by decreasing my anxiety and letting me get to know the me that exists underneath all my caffeination.

So, I got my juicer, bought some b complex vitamins and probiotics, went to yoga class, and made a delicious juice I couldn't drink. My heartburn was so bad today! I bought some traditional medicinal heartburn relief tea so that I wouldn't have to break the cleanse by taking Prevacid, but the tea only helped my acid stomach so long as nothing was in it. A sip of my awesome juice brought me right back to painful, acidy as hell stomach. !!?? So I popped two prevacid and ate some ricotta to coat my stomach. Cured! But completely screwed up the cleanse. So, tomorrow I will try again. I will succeed. I will cut my caffeine consumption in half tomorrow instead of waiting a week. New Years is now officially January 5th this year.